Think about it there are so many places where gays are viewed with about as much affection as a shit on a pillowcase: The Middle East, Africa, 50 percent of Europe, a whole bunch of America, 99 percent of South America, 80 percent of Asia. Honourable mentions: Dennis Cooper, daddies, drag queens, drunk texts, Paris Hilton's "Drunk Text", divas. Ecstasy and pot and acid and K are OK, I guess, but can everyone promise to stop messing with meth? And mephedrone or whatever that new shit is that even old men are doing now. Back in the day, queens would fuck themselves up on it and then go to shitty parties with shitty music and pop a bunch of Viagra and have a tonne of unsafe sex and get HIV. Honourable mentions: Chubs, choking, Cabaret, celebrity gossip, Courtney Love, crying, Cyndi Lauper, chick flicks. They get three years to be totally 100 percent OK with it (five, if they're old), after that, they're X'ed.
PPS: If your parents are assholes and refuse to accept you, fuck 'em. Unless you live in Saudi Arabia or some shit. So bust down those doors or come to terms with becoming Jeffrey Dahmer Reloaded. I know, at times, it can be kind of exciting to have a big secret you're hiding from everyone (like you're Alex Mack or Batman), but every day a gay man spends in the closet makes him a little bit crazier. Still, the main thing about coming out is that it's probably best to ACTUALLY DO IT. Honourable mentions: Bears, brunch, Broadway, Butt Magazine, Billy Eichner,"bisexuals", bisexuals, Bret Easton Ellis, bigots. No matter where you go, you're gonna be hearing the same remix of "We Found Love" four times in an hour. You'd think that there'd be a gay bar out there that would cater to you, what with all the bear bars, the daddy bars, the punk gay bars, the sissy-bounce gay bars, the Mexican cowboy gay bars, the square-dancing gay bars and the gay bars for people with ginger hair fetishes (these are all real gay bars I've been to, BTW). But if you want to have sex even a little bit, you're going to have to take part in it eventually. But in this case, that "rabbit" is "poop".īeing So Bored in Gay Clubs That You Just Watch the Video Wall All Night Sure, it's gonna hurt the first few times, but fuck it, get your boy to stick it in your lil' bum and cum, cum and cum again! It's great! One warning though, if you go down the rabbit hole enough times, eventually you're going to find a rabbit. If any of that 15 percent are reading this, YOU SHOULD TRY IT! Until you've had your bell rung from the inside, you haven't rung your bell at all.
Apparently 15 percent of gay guys don't ever do anal sex.